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Tour the St. Louis Art Museum

Join your expert guide, Emily, on a two hour romp through the glorious halls of the St. Louis Art Museum. See well known pieces in the museum’s collection (Monet! Degas!) and visit the dusty back corners to find new favorites. There will be swag and silly games and lots of nudity (but only in the art, please). Hide your kids and bring your friends, it’s sure to be a hilariously good time!

  • Tours are two hours long. If you need a shorter tour or are looking for something special, get in touch and we will figure something out.

  • Tours run from 2-4pm Tuesday- Sunday. (The museum is closed on Mondays.) There is an additional 6-8pm tour on Friday evenings.

  • We will stop by some old museum favorites—like Monet’s waterlilies—but there will be plenty of time spent in more remote corners of the museum. The nice thing about SLAM is that it is small enough to truly grasp its extent and big enough to contain wonders and surprises. There won’t be much talk of -isms or brush strokes. There will be profanity.

  • Tours are $25 per person and can be booked through Viator or TripAdvisor. If you’re in the mood for something special, send me an email and we will make a plan.

  • Nope. Tours are 18+. Kids don’t laugh at jokes about capitalism or enjoy contemplating the importance of sex workers in western art history; it harshes everyone’s buzz. If you’re desperate for a family outing, send me an email.

Meet Your Guide

Emily Hoff

My career as a writer and tour guide has taken me from the historic neighborhoods and museums of New York City to the top of snowy peaks inside national parks. Along the way, I’ve written a guide book and a trivia game about the national parks and tons of museum exhibits. I love waking people up to the amazing, confounding, curiosity-inspiring world that is all around them. I can’t wait to show you around the St. Louis Art Museum!